Metro Moms

I'll Do It...tomorrow!

I must admit that I am drawn to activities outside of the home because it's much more rewarding and fun.  I don't like housework.  I don't like cleaning, and although I don't mind doing laundry, I would much rather serve others than do something that can always wait until tomorrow.  I sound like the spoiled heroin, Scarlett O'Hara, in Gone With The Wind who stubbornly chose not to think about hard things until "tomorrow", knowing full well she had no intention of giving it another thought.

That is how I excuse myself from today's responsibilities - I put it off until tomorrow.  All too often, days or even weeks go by and my procrastination continues.  God has been showing me that sometimes what's in my heart is a love for the approval of others.  Certainly my husband loves it when I'm home, providing an inviting oasis for him to return to after a hard day at work.  Then why am I so often quick to accept invitations to do things outside of the home?  It's simple -- I sinfully enjoy the attention other's give me when I've served them sacrificially; it's an issue of my heart.  Now I'm not always giving into this temptation -- I have seasons of embracing a love for my home, but too often my schedule fills up pulling me out of the home.  Before I know it I haven't even thought about it.  I say I want to change, and I have experienced growth, but I'm not where I want to be.  I am grateful that God is patient and leads me gently.  I sense Him wooing me once again to confess my sin and commit myself to glorify Him by caring for and loving my home. 

Dear Father, I ask You to forgive me for being lazy, self-sufficient and proud.  Help me to be mindful of my days and that each moment of my life is to be poured out in love and service to You.  My primary responsibility is in being a faithful keeper of my home.  How I need You to help me be diligent and thorough when it comes to mortifying these sins.  I long to change, but change involves a commitment to hard work.  May I not shrink back, but press on to this goal You have set before me.  I love you and thank You for Your grace that makes change possible.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Posted by Debi

Plan to Be Home

Have you ever had one of those weeks where Friday afternoon rolls around and...

• Monday's laundry is still in the dryer
• Tuesday and Wednesdays To-Do List items are unchecked
• And Thursday's dishes are still in the sink? 

I have.  I have literally sat down on Friday and realized I have not been home all week!  What happened??  A lot of times laziness in the form of poor planning can result from a week of barely being at home.  Monday I went to the post office...Tuesday I realized that the library books were due...Wednesday I needed to go to the grocery store for stuff to make snacks for homegroup...Thursday I had a coffee date with my girlfriend...and when Friday rolled around I realized that I'd forgotten that I needed to go to Target to buy a birthday present for a party that weekend.  Not to mention more groceries because I didn't have time to make a list on Wednesday, and we were out of everything! 

Thankfully there is a simple solution.  I can take a little time on Sunday afternoon or evening to look at my week and see if I can consolidate my errands to an afternoon and make it a priority and plan to be at home...

• On Monday so all of the laundry can be washed and put away. 
• On Wednesday to prepare my family and my own heart for homegroup.
• And on Thursday to prepare for a meeting that night so we can easily leave without a flurry after dinner. 

See the thought process here?  I have to think in my mind and my heart "There's no place like home, there's no place like home."  Physically being here helps me to do the things that serve my family that can only be done while I am home.

Posted by Taraleigh

I Can Do It All...Right?

I truly love to be at home.  But as I posted last week, I also love to be on the go - to be out and about, busy with lots of things!  So...those two "loves" often collide.

Being "kept" at home (since we only have one car & now adding pregnancy to the mix) has made me reevaluate what is important.  I have come to realize that I like the idea of being able to "Do It All."  Oh, and not just do it all, but I want to do it all well...or, perfectly!  Kind of that idea of keeping a lot of plates spinning without dropping one.  HOW ARROGANT IS THAT?  Of course I "drop plates!"  Unfortunately the plates I tend to drop would be either cleaning or laundry - because everything else has "deadlines."  I could always catch up on those things.  (Now, there are definitely times that we have to make choices as to what gets done - I am making lots of those choices in my season right now - but what I am speaking of was a side effect of just being too busy.)  Or the other thing that often goes is my time with God...because I just have too much to do!

Now, please don't hear me saying that I have it all figured out...that would NOT be the case, but the Lord has primarily used my husband to help me really look at what my priorities should be.  Things like deciding which errands can wait, which "special touches" can be skipped over, which areas I should be involved with (serving in the church, extra-curricular activities, etc.).  At times, it has been hard to say "no" to things, but at the same time, there is a freedom that comes when you say "yes" to my home.  In those times, the Lord really has helped me adjust my focus.

If you find yourself in this place of keeping the plates spinning, I would encourage you to ask the Lord to open your heart to His will and also ask your husband what he would see in your life. 

Some questions you could ask are:

• Do you see me making our home my priority?

• Am I more excited and committed to serving others and the church than I am our family?

• What would your priorities be for me?

Let me tell you...these are hard questions to ask.  (Even as I type them, I realize it is time for me to ask them again!)  The answers may be hard to hear as well, but the Lord will help you.  Our goal isn't to be Supermom (as much as we would all like that title)...our goal is to glorify God in the way we serve our husbands, train our children and care for our homes.  The Lord hasn't given us this call and left us to accomplish it on our own.  He will provide the strength and the grace that we need.  Thank You, Lord!

Posted by Stephanie

So What Hinders Us?

Last week we talked about the importance of loving our homes.  This week we will discuss things that hinder us from simply staying at home...an important ingredient to LOVING our homes.   We trust our temptations and sin patterns will bring comfort and perhaps conviction as you seek to learn how to love and serve in your homes, too! 

In her excellent book, Praise Her In The Gates, Nancy Wilson reminds us the importance of seeing the Big Picture when it comes to loving our homes:

Anytime we take on an important job, it is very helpful if we have a vision for the end result.  If you are building a home, you may not be able to see with your eyes what the final product will be, but you can, by faith so to speak, know what you are shooting for.  The house plans lay out the complete design, and as each wall goes up, it should follow this master plan.  Because mothering is very similar, a mother needs to see her daily tasks in light of the whole design.  Each day's work is significant, for it is contributing toward the long-term plan.  Though we may be tempted to think that this particular nail in this particular stud wall will not make much difference in the way the home looks in the end, a wise builder knows better.  Each nail is important and ensures that the house will stand and not topple over in the first storm.  Mothers must see each day's duties as part of this building process.  Though it may not seem like much got accomplished in a single day, all those nails in the walls do add up.  "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands." Prov. 14:1  (pgs. 11 -12, emphasis ours)

May we learn from each other's temptations this week and become Mothers who love being home because we know that what we are building at home counts for eternity.  We can't build our homes if we aren't home to build.

School at home

I love homeschooling my children.  I have to admit that even before we officially started with Matthew, I even loved the thought of it.  How awesome it is that God has allowed me to be with my children all day and to be the primary one to teach them in all areas.  I am so grateful to my husband for his provision which allows me this honor.  However, this year it all started out differently. 

I don't think I have ever had a "normal" year of homeschooling.  Our first year was the year of the hurricanes, and we hardly got started until November.  Our next year I went on complete bed-rest two weeks after we started school, and then I homeschooled from my bed for the next four months.  The 3rd year started out seemingly well even with an infant, until we decided to sell our home and move.  But the biggest challenge thus far has been homeschooling with a now 22 month old. 

It is different than anything I have experienced before.  She messes up my schedule, I don't get to finish or begin when I want to and many times I do not complete what I want done because of the time she needs.  Did you notice all the I's and my's in there.  Unfortunately that has been my attitude for much of the eight weeks of school we have done this year.  It really has been all about me and not at all about what God was calling me to do.  How could I think a toddler would not interrupt my schedule or change the way I needed to do things?

One morning Emma was running around being silly when we were trying to read the Bible.  Everyone was distracted, and I had begun to be irritated. Then all of a sudden when we were having our devotional time it hit me -- God quickened my spirit and reminded me that this season was not going to last for long; All too soon she would sit quietly (or close to it) and listen.  She wouldn't ever be this little again,  and I was making all the wrong choices. I was going to miss it and still would not have my selfish desires fulfilled.  At that moment I decided I was going to enjoy it.  I was not going to focus on me so much as what the Lord was doing in our lives right now.  Emma is as much a part of our day and just as important as "school."  So, what if we finish an hour later, but all have fun in the process and with her along the way?

Thank You, Lord for opening my eyes to see Your truth and the selfishness in my heart.  Help me to keep my focus on You and not my wants and desires.  Thank You for each of my children and all the time You give me with them.  Help me continually to use all that time to bring glory to You and not myself.  Let me not see my children as an interruption of my schedule, but instead as the boundaries You have given me to number my days.  Let us all enjoy this special season of blessing that You have given us.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Posted by Elyse

Freedom at Home

What a wonderful privilege it is to be at home.  Over the last year and a half, the Lord has sovereignly "kept" me at home.  When my husband changed jobs, we no longer had his company vehicle, and have since been down to one car!  It was really hard at first - I enjoyed being able to run to the store, spontaneously serve someone with a need, or even just run errands.  While none of these things are bad, they pulled me away from home much more than I realized.  Suddenly, I had to be much more strategic with basically anything I did outside of the home.

But what it has done for me is made me realize how much I need to be home.  Don't get me wrong, I still love my day to have the car, but I have found that there is much more peace and order when I am at home!  My children have also benefited from the structure. 

The Lord knew that this was the perfect timing for us, as we were beginning to homeschool.  It was almost as if He was saying, "This is where I want you to focus - on your home - remember what I have called you to!" 

While I didn't like the changes and the seeming "lack of freedom" at first, I have actually found new freedom in being at home.  The Lord has helped me!

Posted by Stephanie

 

Little Blessings

Yesterday, Taraleigh opened up some wonderful questions to consider as we pursue growth as wives and mothers.  She brought up the point that when we say "yes" to so many good things, we end up saying "no" to the more important things God has called us to -- being home and loving it. 

Here are some practical things that I have found that blesses my children and husband, and communicates to them my love of home:  (NOTE: this doesn't mean I do these on a regular basis!)

• Prepare your husband's favorite meal when it isn't his birthday.
• Have his favorite drink ready for him when he walks in the door.
• Wake your children up with breakfast in bed.
• (For older children) Clean their room just to bless them.
• Surprise younger children by having a friend over to play.
• Light candles after dinner to make your home cozy and warm.
• Do the things your husband asks you to do the first time he asks.
• Look at them when they talk to you - husbands too.

This last one is so important.  As moms, we become masters at multi-tasking, and we oftentimes are so busy doing one thing that we miss the blessing that God has for us by listening - really listening - to what our children or our husbands are saying to us in that moment.

Maybe your family will enjoy these same things, or maybe these ideas will cause you to come up with your own ways to show your love for your family and home.  Let us hear your ideas by submitting a comment to this post. 

Posted by Debi

For the Love of Home

In the place where we live there seems to be so much to do; there are theme parks and water parks and really nice malls with really nice playgrounds.  There are t-ball, football, and soccer leagues to join.  Story time at the library and music lessons downtown.  There are tons of places for field trips and dance studios around the corner.  Then, there are friends to have lunch with, play dates to attend and oh, a new mom who you promised to bring a meal to -- across town.  Now all the things I listed are good things, (well, maybe except for shopping at the mall for me :) ) but saying "yes" to too many good things can quickly become a bad thing.

How do you know when too much is too much?  How can I tell if the things I am doing during my week are infringing on where my heart and efforts are called to primarily?  Do you ever wonder about these things? 

I am grateful that the Bible has something to say about all this.  In 1 Timothy 5:14, Proverbs 31, and Titus 2 it helps me to see that I need to cultivate a love for my home.  A love to be here, to primarily serve here.  If I am away from home more than I am home it would be very difficult to have a home described below:

[our homes]"should be pleasant havens for our husbands and children, sanctuaries where we offer care and hospitality to other Christians, and gateways from which we extend the gospel to family, friends, and neighbors" Carolyn Mahaney

Sometimes when I feel like I am saying "no" to so much I forget what I am saying "yes" to;  I am saying "yes" to the privilege God has given me to make my home a refuge and a place of joy for my family;  a place where boo boos are kissed, messes and memories are made; a place where the gospel is preached hopefully every day. 

This is something that I have to evaluate on a regular basis.  It's good to ask yourself (and your husband) questions like:  Do you feel like my primary (best) energy and effort is focused toward the home?  Do you think that anything that I am participating in outside the home is hindering me from making this a "pleasant haven"?  Would my husband and children see me having joy in even the most mundane tasks?

Lord God, I pray that you would help me to have an even greater love for my home.  Please help me to see where I have been selfish and not willing to lay down my life for my family.  Lord, I need your strength each and every day to take on this awesome task. I pray that I would be more joyful in my daily tasks, and I pray that you would give me wisdom and discernment with how to manage my time. I am so grateful that you have promised to give grace in what you have called me to.

Posted by Taraleigh