Metro Moms

Stephanie's Spills

Before you read Stephanie's fun post, I (Sheree) couldn't resist posting Debi's comment about Elyse's mall experience.  Debi, your sense of humor is such fun.  I enjoy you so much, my friend!

Well, Elyse, you certainly walked out this scripture, literally, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the [Hope] that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect". (Emphasis mine)

I admire your honesty and humor, even in the midst of a very embarrassing moment. Here's an acrostic poem for Malls that will "Hopefully" (no pun intended!) be a warning to all Moms the next time you must enter a Mall:

Moms, please be
Aware that your
little ones and YOU are
likely to
Sin here!

The moral of your story might be:
Shop only in the stores near the exit where you parked! :-)

Now, on to Stephanie.

Okay…so I thought I would tell you about an on-going issue...a continual “embarrassing moment,” if you will. 

I have this issue with spilling things - generally onto myself and specifically onto my shirt.  I think it stems from trying to do too many things at once.  In fact, I experienced it a few times this past weekend while my husband and I were out of town.  (He laughed at me mercilessly.)  One time I was carrying a couple of bags, crossing a very busy street, taking a picture and had a full cup of Starbucks in my hand.  I can’t imagine how I managed to spill it on myself!  Hee, hee!

So, as you see, I can make a big mess all on my own, but then you add two little boys in my life…yikes!  There have been times when I come home from eating out with my children and I am covered with their food!  My youngest always feels the need to touch my shirt when his hands are covered with Macaroni and Cheese.  But at least when they are with me I have an excuse!  One way or another I tend to have something on me!

So here are my conclusions…

1.      God, in His sense of humor, is using these moments to humble me.

2.      I rarely wear white shirts!

Please tell me some of you can relate!!!

Posted by Stephanie

Elyse's Memorable Mall Trip

A few months back I took my three children under seven to the mall.   Before we left I talked to my two older children at length about appropriate behavior in the mall.  I even promised them a treat and to go to a favorite store if they obeyed.  (Yes, I do occassionally resort to bribes.)

Well, obey they did not.  In one store alone they were under the clothes racks and running through the aisles.  Then Matthew was spinning Hope in the air, and when he dropped her on her head I decided it was time to go.  In case you're wondering why I didn't decide this sooner, you should know that all this happened in a span of probably three minutes.  Needless to say, the bribe was off.

It would be an understatement to say Matthew and Hope were not happy with my decision, especially Hope.  She began to quite hysterically cry and scream.  She made sure that everyone knew we were NOT having fun now and that I had promised her we were going to have a fun day and this was not fun.  Then she began to yelling the dreaded "Mommy, please don't discipline me...pleeeease Mommy!"

And then it hit me.  I was one of those mothers.  You know, the ones you certainly feel sorry for but self-righteously think, "Surely my kids won't act like that."  I tried to get to the exit as quickly as possible (which, of course, wasn't too quick).  We finally  made it out the doors and almost to the privacy of our van.  Then it hit me, we had gone out the wrong exit!! I had no choice but to go back into the mall with still hysterical Hope by my side.  We had to walk all the way back through the mall until we finally made it out the correct door.  At last, we were alone! 

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is, but I know I don't look at "those mothers" the same way I used to.  I'm also grateful I can see the humor is this incident today...I certainly didn't months ago when it happened.

Posted by Elyse

Taraleigh's Cake Phobia

I love reading and I LOVE baking. But I do not love baking cakes.  For my husband and children's birthdays I usually come up with some other kind of dessert. One year it was even a cinnamon bun with a birthday candle in it! Now you may be asking, "Why would you be afraid of making a cake? It's just 2 eggs and some oil mixed in with a cake mix!" Well, my fear of cakes started many years ago. [A comment from Sheree:  I hear Taraleigh is also afraid of bridges and Walmarts so cake phobia isn't really that suprising...smile.]

Let me explain.

Early in our marriage, I tried to make a little extra money in the evenings doing home parties.  My friend invited me over to do a demonstration for some cooking products.  I was so excited that I had learned to bake a cake ~ in the microwave.  I practiced a few times with my family at home so I was ready! Well...the night before what seemed like hundreds of people I started my demonstration. I mixed the oil and eggs and set the timer. I proceded to talk at length how easy it was and how yummy the cake would turn out.  When the buzzer on the microwave sounded and I went to remove the cake out of the pan part of it oozed out, part of it was almost burnt, and part of it was unrecognizable. I was so embarrassed I don't even remember how I recovered. I probably didn't! That was the last time I ever tried to do that!  To this day I am mercilously mocked about my microwave cake when opportunities arise to sign up to bring something to a shower or event. 

In case you're wondering, I can testify that I DID NOT bake a cake in the microwave for the cake walk at the fall festival tonite, so you can cake walk to your hearts content!!!!

Posted by Taraleigh

Sheree's Concussion

This week our blog team will be pursuing humility "CJ Mahaney style"...laughing at ourselves by sharing humorous or embarrasing things we've done.  We hope you have fun laughing at us, too!  (And don't forget to post comments about your own motherhood funnies for us to enjoy.)

In last Friday's post I mentioned we would be having a family discussion that night to vote on my contributions to this week's "Motherhood Funnies."  My children (ages 12 through 28) enjoyed the discussion way too much.  What was I thinking?  What mother in her right mind would initiate a self-imposed roast???

Even with numerous recollections of my mothering blunders, the vote was unanimous.  They insisted I share about my concussion.

Close to 15 years ago I was in my late 30's and my oldest was 13.  Having a large family has many advantages, including ready-made athletic teams.  One of the kids favorite things to do was play street football with dad as all time quarterback.  After years of pregnancy I decided it was time for me to join in on the fun.  The kids were thrilled...and amused.

I didn't find out until this past Friday night that they were going to LET me score a touchdown!  I thought the pass I caught was amazing for a going on 40-year-old! Imagine my surprise on Friday when Josh told me it was "only a 3 yard pass."  But I caught it!  As I turned to sprint like the wind unguarded by anyone to the endzone, my feet suddenly stopped cooperating.  After only a couple of strides I started tripping...and tripping...and tripping. 

The next thing I remember is lying on the street with a woozy headache.  I had fallen and hit my head on the curb.  My street football career ended with a mild concussion. My children didn't laugh then.  But they have laughed since -- alot. I recovered quickly from the concussion...but I continue to receive the affectionate ribbing of my children. 

P.S.  I cannot miss this opportunity to say, though, that at age 50 I won a 3-point shooting contest at my son's basketball game.  There...I feel better.

Posted by Sheree